If you ever wish to insult a toxic abuser, just call them a Red Giant. Because, who else would want to be an abuser — but an abuser? Nobody. That’s who. Abusers want us to feel like they do. This is the key to dismantling the abuser whilst taking our power back. Ideally this is done in front of everyone in order to expose them for what they truly are so other potential targets might then have a chance at sparing themselves the cost of interacting with the abuser. But I can empathize with most people’s adult strength compelling them to avoid identifying with or having anything to do with a suspected super special abuser. Understanding that abusers want their targets to feel like they do allows a target to put the abuser back in their place, where they belong (which usually is not a very nice ‘place’; surprise surprise). Abusers despise this as they fear being exposed for the reality of their sick condition, and this would expose their vulnerable wounds as the infants that they are inside. An abuser cannot allow themselves to be vulnerable in front of others because this will invite abuse, as far as they are concerned, so they will instead take up the shield and sword of lies and lie to their targets over and over and over again and flatter them as long as their targets can remain a source of energetic supply for the abuser’s sadly depleting core. So before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem make sure that you are in fact not just surrounded by assholes, or, as I also like to call them: blackholes.
A recurring theme throughout human history is: how to not let other toxic people affect us; how to avoid being affected by our environment. While on the one hand the Buddhist way can deal with this, but not without effort, the other thing I have realized is that we ARE affected by the toxic person. This is because sensitive empathic individuals FEEL things and so we absorb a lot of the energies around us like a sponge absorbs drops of water, not like water off of a duck’s back. Even if we ignore them, so long as they are in our presence they DO have an effect on us… Perhaps we do not let them have as much of an effect on us as they could but the undertones are still there, their stench is in the air… There’s no avoiding it. The reason I say this is because of music, and how the principle of resonance works. Resonance occurs when one instrument vibrates at a specific frequency and, without even touching another instrument that other instrument will also vibrate if it is tuned to a key belonging to that frequency; meaning: one intentionally/physically sounded instrument can make another instrument resonate — without even touching that resonating instrument. This is a good thing as far as musical harmony goes. But toxic people also have this effect of resonance on us, not because they naturally vibrate at our frequency, but because they know how to project or artificially reproduce such a vibe or one that will trigger us to give them highly craved attention, good or bad. I call it ‘toxic resonance’. In music theory we would call this dissonance, however, dissonant tones cancel out each other’s signals. However the vibes of toxic persons do not quite function as dissonant tones do. They function more as resonant tones that are toxic to us. So my point here is that we can ignore a toxic person until the cows come home but the fact is that as long as we are within their visual audible or even electromagnetic auric field… they WILL have an affect on us, and they know it.
LITERALLY RUN AWAY.
One of the keys to understanding why they are so cold decisive and intransigent is because they operate out of a very realistic sense of life threatening fear. We are afraid too (of death, failure, pain etc.), but we use love and ambiguity and philosophy or exhaustive analysis to bandaid the fear or process it somehow. Whereas they use an imitation of this; a copy; not the genuine thing in order to SHOW that they’re nice, loving, a good citizen, proud and fit and healthy, when holistically speaking they aren’t those things… not truly deep down in their hearts, where it counts. They’re too afraid to fail and lose hold on the dream (like, the American Dream), yet they know and are reminded every time they wake that this inevitability is as sure as the sun. So, “let’s just not acknowledge or overthink that reality”, instead, “let’s get away with as much as we can get away with while we still can, and always be cool and think positive! No negative morose thoughts or genuine emotions allowed!”… why, that’d be just like thinking about reality and the inevitability of things in this perishable world!
The most challenging thing we can encounter in life (when dealing with toxic persons; because more often than not these persons just aren’t worth any effort, as toxic abusers predictively act unnecessarily accusatory as well as disproportionately — or their aggressively ’emotionally criminal’ effect on others is so, at any rate) is to decide which battles to choose to invest a chunk of ourselves into contending with them or not. We can’t carry the world on our shoulders, but we can’t just ignore everything in life either. If we ignore a toxic abuser and let them win/give into their little bully cries, because its just easier on us, it is not exactly doing a favour for the next target in the abuser’s line of sight. Some one MUST stand up to abusive tyrants or else poisonous weasels rise up to power. The art in dealing with collisions with toxic persons is to know when to stand up to something or not — that is the true test of our humanity, and every single case is unique and usually complex. Super fun cognitive dissonance to juggle around there: “Is this coward Red Giant of a toxic person worth fighting in court over… a few slightly torn pieces of clothing? Or is $100 a good deal for a quick fix solution to “peace”, where the abuser is treated as a victim by the target (now that’s healthy)?” Sometimes they just want to watch us say “yes” when really we all know that its more of a “no”… but that’s just the kind of thing that sociopaths love to witness; how could they not, right? There’s just no other greater thrill in life than forcing / manipulating / coercing / tricking someone into saying “yes” when really they mean “no” — as far as a psychopath void of empathy or reality goes. But as mature compassionate adults, we ought to be able to give these little bullies some nasty unethical fiction treats every now and again. But when / where do we draw the line? Because there definitely is a line, and toxic persons love to cross that line, effectively testing our sense of reality, our boundaries, and our sense of fair proportional justice; and there’s nothing better to do that with than to use the court system as a tactical weapon intended to achieve maximum “legal” emotional turmoil and distress in the target — not peace. Toxic persons have little to no interest in peace or letting peaceful individuals just be.
If you want to know how “legal” systemic abuse works, learn about concepts such as the psychological reference to Flying Monkeys (The Wizard Of Oz) and Forks in chess:
A fork occurs when a piece attacks two or more pieces at the same time. In chess, a fork is a tactic whereby a single piece makes two or more direct attacks simultaneously. Most commonly two pieces are threatened, which is also sometimes called a double attack. The attacker usually aims to gain material by capturing one of the opponent’s pieces. The defender often finds it difficult to counter two or more threats in a single move. The attacking piece is called the forking piece; the pieces attacked are said to be forked.
Now, assigning blame to the abuser or narcissist is NOT necessarily a “narcissistic” disorder, but when toxic persons do assign blame, usually, it is to signal their OWN specific behaviour; but not always! This is tricky stuff, folks. For example… in a collision of two or more wills, how are we supposed to identify an abuser who has in fact done us real intentional emotional, psychological, mental, etc. harm, when could otherwise just as easily be avoided for the sake of peace, if we cannot assign patterns of repeated behaviour to their source: the initiator? If someone punches us in the face, but we cannot see them or locate/identify them, how are we supposed to accept their invitation to punch them back in THEIR face? We can’t. That’s how. This is exactly why we also refer to abusers as COWARDS. The playing field is not fair. The goalposts or pawns were moved while we were not looking. The cards are marked and bent.
They are cheats. They are cruel. They are shame.
The narcissistic disorder “blames” others but their “blames” are delusional invented lies that hold no true rational meaning or virtue of real substance.”
If you do however choose to feel bad for a toxic abuser do not be surprised at what comes next — and without you even knowing about it:
Toxic abusers are attracted to people who are made strong due to a hard life. But they want to tame that foreign strength and resilience like a circus clown tames a glorious wild elephant, rather than learn and make the effort that it would take to grow towards maturity or true powerful sentience. Their motivation is to find where and how and exactly when to add that one feather in order to break the camel’s back and own it like a dumbass robot bitch. But the real bitch is instead the toxic person who is truly extremely weak, as it requires the blood of others to barely enjoy life, like a mosquito does, whereas the rest of us succulent targets are too busy absorbing the tranquil scents and sounds and colours of our healthy environment. Our fuel is life and the allowance of things to live. Their fuel is other people, and no number of dead bodies is large enough.
There are two kinds of people in this world. Some people will go out to a restaurant because they look forward to savouring some rare and tasty cuisine. Other people go out to restaurants because they are only concerned with exalting themselves at the expense of the service.
An abuser will orchestrate a situation in order to hurt you and make you cry and then they will tell you not to cry or feel sad when you actually should be crying or feeling sad for having someone abuse you intentionally in that manipulative way. Beautiful, isn’t it? That’s right: abusers want you to die, and they couldn’t care less if you really did die. They have no empathy. They will never apologize. It would be precautionary to presume that they would presume that you would make the mistake to think that they are somehow ridden with guilt, therefore causing you to have your own natural feelings of empathy and guilt (that abusers do not have, unfortunately enough for them) and feeling like you are not a good person for standing up for yourself.
While a target will apologize for just about everything, including things that they neither intended to do or things that they likely had nothing to do with, an abuser will not apologize because their value system is not the same as their target’s. A target of abuse usually is the kind of character that simply wants people to get along and to maintain a shared mutual peace together in order to mutually uplift one another, whereas an abuser does not find value in these things.
Their fuel is not happy people. Their fuel is rife with contention mischief devious sly manipulative social undertones and plots. This is what an abuser finds stimulating, exhilarating, thrilling… “fun”. Hey, they gotta get off somehow, right?
The toxic person wants for their target to feel and think that their years of recovery is wasted time. In reality, anyone who suffers does gain, although unfortunate and usually causing some measure of enduring injury; this also ups their priceless life experience points as far as the virtues of empathy and compassion and strength and endurance go. This is why toxic persons want targets to think that they have been “had” or that the relationship and post relationship turmoil and healing was all a waste of time, hence rendering the target as a replica or viral “mini me”. They want the target to become spiteful bitter and angry towards life, like they are, and to spread that hate around because this validates the toxic person’s existence or purpose; it also demonstrates that if others cannot overcome this type of sickness it must mean that the toxic person is “normal”, “See? You are having trouble too now, just like I am, because I made you suffer intentionally”–genius, I know; whereas healthy people want to heal the hate in the world because it requires strength and somebody’s gotta do it… like being an explorer, going to the gym, or rock climbing. Deep down toxic persons covet the target’s strength and resilient determination on their quest for a healthier better quality of life, and maybe even love. But if you are toxic, you resent this life experience in others who have been tried by the jungle of life but not yet extinguished. The ones who got away; who got a second chance at happiness. That one mosquito in the room… on their death bed! Why does it irritate them so much so that they must absolutely not let anyone know about it? Because people of real authentic genuine character are shaped by the one true thing that toxic persons will likely never know: virtues of substance that money just can’t buy. Because we can’t abuse someone who has learnt valuable lifelong lessons and who as a result can no longer be manipulated. And that’s exactly why toxic persons will always resent free transparent colourful individuals. The toxic person wants for their target to feel and think that their years of recovery is wasted time. In reality, anyone who suffers does gain, although unfortunate and usually causing some measure of enduring injury; this also ups their priceless life experience points as far as the virtues of empathy and compassion and strength and endurance go. This is why toxic persons want targets to think that they have been “had” or that the relationship and post relationship turmoil and healing was all a waste of time, hence rendering the target as a replica or viral “mini me”. They want the target to become spiteful bitter and angry towards life, like they are, and to spread that hate around because this validates the toxic person’s existence or purpose; it also demonstrates that if others cannot overcome this type of sickness it must mean that the toxic person is “normal”, “See? You are having trouble too now, just like I am, because I made you suffer intentionally”–genius, I know; whereas healthy people want to heal the hate in the world because it requires strength and somebody’s gotta do it… like being an explorer, going to the gym, or rock climbing. Deep down toxic persons covet the target’s strength and resilient determination on their quest for a healthier better quality of life, and maybe even love. But if you are toxic, you resent this life experience in others who have been tried by the jungle of life but not yet extinguished. The ones who got away; who got a second chance at happiness. That one mosquito in the room… on their death bed! Why does it irritate them so much so that they must absolutely not let anyone know about it? Because people of real authentic genuine character are shaped by the one true thing that toxic persons will likely never know: virtues of substance that money just can’t buy. Because we can’t abuse someone who has learnt valuable lifelong lessons and who as a result can no longer be manipulated. And that’s exactly why toxic persons will always resent free transparent colourful individuals.
What they value more than apologizing for something that they intentionally caused or might not have intentionally caused, is to see other people suffer on account of them and their “mighty just interventions” which “serve” to correct the flagged problematic individual, especially one who displays signs of different or unusual cerebral activity; someone with natural talents, or someone who is a passionate individual. These characteristic traits are threatening to the abuser who neither understands nor harbours any of those qualities.
Super fun folk, these abusers are, huh? Making the world a better place one crushed heart or dead body at a time, like the good little delusional murderous cowards that they are. In fact, most abusers are rarely if ever at all (it would be a contradiction in values) big strong courageous men or women, but instead they are usually small or lacking in some (sometimes concealed) way. If you are having difficulty in identifying an abuser, you might try taking a good long hard look at a fruit fly right up close and personal… one of the nastiest little abusers I know of, next to noseeums.
If abusers can be so easily compared to fruit flies, as annoying and effective as they can be, then logic follows that… just as fruit flies are able to be tricked and caught in a jar of old fruits or wine covered in slightly punctured cellophane, so that the creepy little devils can crawl in through the (intentional) opening (“wound”/”taking the bait”) but then being incapable of flying out through the same openings (due to their massively impressive wings), there must also be effective ways to trap or call out abusers — and there is!
Fruit Flies are the perfect mascot for abusers! While fruit flies have the ability and annoying power to walk a man right off of a cliff, of which he is unaware about, and in total darkness, it is still nothing more than just a little bully fruit fly.
Being unaware of this fact is what makes the abuser appear to be so strong and powerful, causing others to “fear” them, when in fact they are next to nothing. Okay, let’s be fair: they are slightly more than a maggot.
Just imagine if you will for a moment the level of jealousy that abusive little maggots must harbour towards the fruit fly; in fact it would not be totally unreasonable to propose that fruit flies are nothing more then hyper jealous little maggots who once aspired to become a fruit fly, ate some literal shit, then grew some huge impressive killer wings, and decided to play god!
Just look at that face:
Should we play the same games that toxic abusers play? Beyond social media or books and journals etc., I hardly think that it is worth our time. I write in my blogs about them in order to learn about the specifics concerning their disorder, analyzed throughout a number of very specific situations.
Once we accept that we are dealing with a spoiled rotten malicious fruit fly or allegorical infant trapped inside of an adult’s body, or mask, who can’t ever stand being alone, serious introspective contemplation, or honest equal exchange for the sake of mutual growth and development (mutualism / symbiosis)… then everything starts to make sense! So if we truly do wish to have an effect or exert some kind of control over a toxic abuser, it is important for us to think like they do and thoroughly understand that, for an abuser, worse than being exposed, is the thought or threat of being exposed. Yes, this is the kind of ‘logic’ that we are dealing with here, folks. Am I wrong?
If we can presume or preemptively outsmart the child ego gone awry whilst imagining what devious little scheme these little maggots might be up to, again, tonight in order to get into the chocolate cake without getting caught, again, we have a pretty great chance at seeing them for what they truly are, simply by observing them entering very predictive patterns of toxic behaviour. But in reality, playing those preemptive games are not all that enjoyable or interesting, except for maybe putting the narcissist back in their place — because we just know that they are reading our blogs — but otherwise we are much better off spending our time and energy creating real relationships with ladies and gents who are capable of exchanging real conversation and mutual validation, or at the very least: not be a galactic black hole!
Even collectives or mobs such as Facebook and other corporations can also act as one entity and essentially behave in the same way as little abusers do. Instead of blocking a single post that they have a problem with because someone else has a problem with that post, they end up shutting your whole page history down… all your photos, videos, memes, ideas, comment history — GONE. On account of one side view of a shield maiden’s boob… that we might have — SHARED — from someone else’s uploaded post! Super fair, right? Talk about proportional justice and net neutrality, or… censorship and gagged freedom of speech, rather.
It doesn’t seem right to allow other people to exert that kind of disproportionate and abusive treatment over us in that way, just because they don’t like what we share. It’s almost comparable to, say, if we were to park in a no-parking zone, and instead of giving us a ticket for that one incident, the cops decide to erase our entire identities and everything we have ever said or done. This would be a dangerous road straight to the gates of World War III.
If you don’t like what I say or share then don’t come to my URL. As a response to the above form of cyber abuse, we can band together and sue these administrators for cyber entity murder or contributing to inciting it (the suppression of free speech / cyber identity / fingerprint text & other identity history etc.). When cowards who hide behind tinted anonymous windows have more power than authentic men and women willing to stand in the brilliance of courage and original thought… well, humanity has a serious problem knocking at our collective minds’ door!
We also have a right to know who our cowardly accusers are, and we ought to have the option to block these sad little fucks — BEFORE — they contribute to sabotaging our hard-earned social media pages, friends, historic comments and ideas or the groups that we join or are invited to! Those of us who have been silenced in this covert unjust immature way could reasonably band together and go all they way in suing corporations like Facebook, or even the government, to express to them that it is not humane to magically erase our social media history and our freedom of expression. Pardon my French but I don’t think that its right that they treat us with segregation in this way. Even if they don’t like one or two of our posts — to have our whole account history erased is not equal weight in justice. And that’s exactly why we sincerely refer to these persons as little more than evil nasty ass toxic abusers.
Admit it: its fascinating in a disgustingly disturbing but subtly curious way…
One day the target is “the best”. Then the following day, the target has a “mental problem”. This type of treatment is a classic red flag signalling the presence of an abusive narcissistic sociopath. Super fun! As soon as the target stands up for himself or herself and assumes their own identity, the abuser will turn on a dime and suddenly… you now magically have a mental disorder where such accusation is initiated by the abuser. Initiation is paramount when analyzing the behavioural patterns of abusers; it’s not about who fights back in self-defence or about who outspokenly or inappropriately might speak out against the abuse or be provoked by that abuse, but it’s instead all about who initiates the violence — always. Understanding this basic mechanism can help to measure the degree of disorder in the abuser. The closer the two polar extremes of “you’re good”/”you’re not good” occur to one another in time, the crazier the abuser is. Look for these telltale signs. We can mark down on a calendar the time and date and intensity when such tells of abuse occur in order to qualify the pattern or degree of abuse inflicted — and covered up — over time.
Abusers need others to punish, like fruit flies need to fly right into your eyeball:
“Narcissistic people on a power trip prefer fantasy to reality and they will indiscriminately join any group available to virtue signal from. Void of self-knowledge, toxic people will become highly triggered when you contradict the lies that they live on. The narcissistic social justice warrior is unreasonable, sanctimonious, biased, and self-aggrandizing. Their end goal is achieved through censorship and the continued propagation of codependent relationships. Gang stalking is a form of community mobbing and organized harassment. Organized targeting of a group is often about revenge, jealousy, sport, and/or to keep the target quiet. Gang Stalking is a systemic form of control, which seeks to suspend the activities of the targeted group. Once the targets are flagged, a notification is sent out to the community at large, and the targets are followed around 24/7 and harassed by ‘community’ volunteers. Portraying a group of targets as “the bad guys” is an effective gang stalking tactic. The abuse is masked under the guise of ‘social justice’ and ‘public safety.’ The gang stalkers will posture and grandstand by creating a series of manufactured events until everyone believes the target is a bad guy. A successful propaganda campaign will result in the gang stalkers being able to justify the target’s punishments.”
~ Sacha Slone
This is exactly accurate, and not only is it of utmost cowardice on the part of the “organized” little bullies (or, fruit flies), as they operate out of fear not honour; but they also create pain rather than alleviate it. They will have the nerve and sheer cruel stupidity enough to exclaim to the entire village that someone is “damaged” and then they will go right ahead and further damage that individual, physically, psychologically, emotionally — whatever it takes — because after all let us not forget that…
Hey, look on the bright side:
At least you’re not the one who is the old desensitized solipsistic ugly dried-up acidic scrawny evil narcissistic neighbourhood witch with an IQ of two, that dozens of neighbours living around you hate. And then these abusers wonder why they develop terminal diseases such as cancer. Pure geniuses. Really. Meh, no biggie right? They’ve got it coming to them. Thank the gods for karma.
If an abuser feels as though they are being tortured in someway — let’s say that they have a job that causes their feet to get sore — an abuser will want other people to have sore feet. They care NOTHING about other people. A simple apology or check in, “Hey, how are you doing?”, or “I’m sorry that things didn’t work out. How are you feeling otherwise these days?”, is totally impossible for them to consider as this would HELP the target of abuse and that is the very last thing that an abuser wants for their target. They consider themselves “successful” once being responsible for emotionally destroying someone; it is satisfying for them to the point of rendering them “joyful”. And yes, this includes religious abusers as well. They truly are the most disgusting vile form of subhuman, and they excuse themselves for it. Cool, right?
They will normalize the abuse in front of others while perhaps also referring to it as a “minor inconvenience” when in reality they know very well that it is a serious painful condition that the target endures. But for some reason of their own choosing, abusers do not choose to help themselves or to help to improve any abusive situation, beyond creating their own denials and fantastic delusional belief systems which only temporarily allow them to cope with their very own all too realistic suffering, and so they will also extend that denial to others affected by their abuse. They might refer to the abuse using catch-all phrases like the above minor inconvenience, which they will then deliberately inflict onto others — hence treating that abuse as though “there is no problem” because it is perceived or expressed as a completely normal treatment of others. They might even add in a little “justifiable excuse” which obviously abuse can never be considered as. Abuse is abuse. Justice has nothing to do with it.
There’s no one home, folks. There’s just no one home.
For example, if their own suffering is that their feet hurt due to their job and as a result they will want to inflict that kind of suffering onto other people’s feet (because that’s just how demented they are), they might do something literally crazy like tie someone up in the backyard so that they cannot speak or escape from the abuse; in this case causing feet to get sore, where the abuser might, say, tie their target to a tree and then light a smouldering fire under that target’s feet! Fun, right? When someone comes around to check up on the suspected abuser and they ask the abuser if everything is okay, the abuser will reply, “Yes, everything is totally fine here. Have a great day”.
You guys see how insane that is… yeah?
Abusers will demand that we drown in a sea of noise, and then tell us that it is music. The more someone insists on questioning or investigating a suspected abuser, the more the abuser will pretend as though they are totally innocent. They will become increasingly extravagant in their portrayal of that innocence, falsely claiming things like: that they are concerned with nothing more in life than being a good citizen of quality care, or some other blatantly obvious tell like that. Remember: abusers tell on themselves. If they say to you, “I’m not cheating on anyone”, it means that they are cheating on someone. If they say to you, “I am paying two taxes (ooo… so impressive!!!)”, they are in reality only paying one, or something like that.
Even if every logical common sense points to the fact that the abusers are responsible for abusing others through their actions, behaviours, appointed responsibilities or the lack thereof, the abuser will maintain at all costs that they are rendering the entire world nothing less than the best service ever. There is never any doubt in the abuser’s response to the inquiries or suspicions directed at them by other interested parties. They will never consider even for a moment that they could be responsible for abusing other people — because: they absolutely do not want to lose the “opportunity” to cause others to feel the harm that they themselves feel in their own miserable shitty little lives. They MUST be able to abuse others without anyone knowing it, especially not the targets of the abuse themselves. The reason that they want to inflict a similar pain to what they suffer(ed) onto others is in order to acquire (a dark and disgusting form of) power by draining an individual of their strengths, freedoms, virtues, or anything else of real value or of good character attributable to those targets. They will do themselves great disservice by slowly filtering out men and women of quality from their lives, and by extension their communities, stunting the growth of those individuals’ otherwise natural social development.
Abusers just can’t stand not being the centre of attention, even if that attention is unmerited. Rather than be a contributing force in building up an individual who displays a number of rare talents, that they themselves do not possess but recognize as exceptional or award winning, and so threatening to the abuser who is lacking, abusers would prefer to see such an individual rot in hell; their jealousy of other naturally talented individuals is simply just too overwhelming and so this as well as other Black Wolf spirit qualities compels them to sabotage anything good that they can get their dirty little coon hands on, much like when King Midas turns everything that he touches into gold, only… abusers don’t turn everything that they touch into gold — they turn everything that they touch into abuse. It is a form of sacrifice that they engage in with this dysfunctional type of damaging behavior, much like when the Babylonians would sacrifice newborn babies to their god, Baal. If an abuser could they would extinguish the sun, and trust me: they are currently attempting to do just that.
The younger, the purer, the more virtuous the target is, the purer the power that is produced by the abuser and for the abuser’s sick and demented sense of thrill. It is the measure of their joy and what defines their emotional highs and lows; it is through the abuse that they feel most “alive”. This is why they are considered insane by those who endure the abuse inflicted onto them by the abuser. The abuser knows deep down that their treatment towards others is insane, but… mosquitoes can’t resist blood, it just wouldn’t be right. So the abuser does not recognize that this form of acquired power is dark and disturbing. They do not make this distinction. Well, they do, but they won’t be informing you about it. They simply view it as power to which they are entitled, simply because they can get away with it and that it’s just the way that they are designed so… heck, might just as well power up.
It does not matter how frequent or how many people confront the abuser concerning the suspected abuse. The abuser will continue to maintain their psychotic delusional fantasy by claiming that they are not abusing other people when they actually are abusing other people. They literally enjoy knowing that other people suffer on account of them. That’s the biggest part of the thrill. This is not a metaphor, folks. They actually interpret in their brains that doing harm to others is “fun”.
Isn’t that super extra great?
Abusive sociopaths might even stoop so low (as far as they see it…) and repeatedly (pretend to) “apologize” for their abuse, but then go right on ahead and continue to abuse their targets without remorse consideration or empathy. Abusers are great at pretending; its practically all that they ever truly perfect in life. Hey, why be alive in your own sentience of gifted form when you can just pretend to instead, right? Actors… sigh.
For an abusive sociopath the words “sorry” or “apology” have absolutely zero meaning or real practical function in their pretend reality. Whereas when normal people say that they are “sorry”, they recognize that their actions do cause others significant harm and as a result their troubled sensitivity or conscience compels them to cease the abuse onto those affected by the abusive actions. But abusers just don’t give a shit; their words mean nothing. There is no room for improvement as they are already without fault in their own eyes, and that’s enough for them; other people who are affected by their abuse simply do not matter.
When I once accidentally slammed a good friend in the face with a basket ball, he mentioned, “Don’t be sorry… just don’t do it again.”, and if we really stop to think about it — that statement has profound meaning and substance; meaning and substance that an abuser will never truly comprehend or put into realistic practice even if their entire quality of life depended upon it, which, let’s face it… it does! It is more important for an abuser to expose their targets to their abuse rather than place the target of abuse, the man or woman of authentic value, above the abuse (obviously; hey, abusers might be the most vile form of subhuman being running around out there with their heads cut off but they sure do have their priorities strait). And what do abusers do when their targets speak up against abuse?
NAZI CONCENTRATION CAMP SETUP 101:
SUPPRESS FREEDOM OF SPEECH AND EXPRESSION
They claim that “there is no problem” and will deliberately and ignorantly continue to abuse those targets even more by physically intimidating them, violating them, shunning them, gaslight them, manipulate them, hurt them, slander them, accuse and judge them, forcibly coerce them into contracts that are not in their best interest (duress), presume them guilty before being found innocent, stalk and follow them, lie and cheat, and most importantly: appear as civil and as kind and as reasonable as possible — but only while others are watching.
For example, we might have a case where someone who has been abused their whole lives by their peers goes out to rescue a three-month-old sheepdog who was left abandoned in a trashcan in the city. Because that target of abuse and that sheepdog will likely naturally develop a strong loyal wolf friendship, thanks to their mutual experience of abuse no less, an abuser would relish like a pig in the mire at the idea of taking away that new friendship from the target, and the sheepdog. They would do this by simply attacking or challenging the target at their address in some covert unsuspecting manner — even after having been informed by the target that such a person (the abuser) neither has any business going to that location and nor are they welcome there (hey, all the more reason to go on an invasion, yeah? Yeah… I’d say that someone has something to prove here) where the dog would be compelled to act suspiciously, picking up on emotion or the lack thereof in reaction to the ill-intentions initiated by the abuser. Obviously, the sheepdog would react in this very predictable way out of a sense of protection towards the sheepdog’s caretaker (aren’t abusers sheer geniuses to predict such an outcome, as the glorious oracles that they see themselves as?). Later, after claiming a physical attack from the sheepdog, the abuser will then justify having that dog put down or taken away from the target of the abuse to some heartless “correctional” facility that is likely over populated with other problematically abandoned and extremely loud-sounding barking dogs (HELP! HELP! SOMEBODY LOVE ME! HELP!) within that sterile concrete caged-in facility, void of any familiar canine surroundings such as the dirt of quiet soundproof wolf dens or the like. The outcome in this particular example of attack is one which both ruins the friendship and trust between the formerly rescued sheepdog and the target of abuse who saved that sheepdog as well as ruining / significantly reducing the quality of life for the target and the sheepdog. Two for the price of one, folks. While maintaining a superiority of control of abuse on the target, the abuser then furthers the nervous abusive condition in the target already suffering from C-PTSD; a complex post traumatic stress disorder inflicted onto a target usually by narcissistic abusers. Pretty sweet! Right?
Animals don’t like people like that.
Things that we say which enable abuse:
You’ll get over it.
You’re just imagining things.
There’s no problem.
Don’t be like that.
They have every right to act that way.
They’re just doing their job.
Don’t be so upset over something so trivial.
What did you do?
I wouldn’t worry about it.
You’re being way to sensitive about this.
Just don’t think about it.
No one cares.
You always think that.
It’s not like they did/do it intentionally.
You’re just being paranoid.
You’re blowing things way out of proportion.
Abuse doesn’t apply to men.
Everyone gets “brainwashed”.
You shouldn’t just trust your “instincts” like that. Why do you do that?
Why do you always say that?
How can you think those things about them?
Nothing ever changes.
You don’t really think that you can make a difference, do you?
Think of your reputation.
God can’t bless you for that.
You miserable piece of shit.
Shut the fuck up, Donny.
(Donny dies of a heart attack.)
A few of the examples in the above link are confusing as fuck, and border on not making sense… which is why, when it comes to toxic abusers, those statements likely do make sense. But not necessarily (I do strongly feel/think that at least a few of these examples are not logical masked-meanings). But because I, an empath, cannot make sense of some of those statements, chances are that… they do make sense.
Not crazy at all!
It helps to invert things; always ask who is saying the statements: first, propose that the target says them, then propose that the abuser says them. This then allows us to see whether or not the hidden meanings make sense in the given contexts/examples.
Totally not confusing.
The key is in presuming that targets are ‘never’ (let’s just assume so; no one’s perfect) toxic or abusive, but that abusers are.
Abusers want to break you down and render you helpless and disfunctional; their aim is YOUR self-confidence (not some actual productive achievement). Lovely pair of eyes that they have there, huh? They do this because they want you to perceive yourself as they perceive themselves: never good enough, worthless, shameful, incapable, dirty or vile, unacceptable, underserving, lacking etc..
Let’s say an abuser discovers that you have a nice big pair of breasts or a nice big fat juicy dick, but that the abuser does not in fact possess or have access to these things for themselves (so sad, I know). An abuser will ridicule and make fun of you or try to make you feel bad in some carefully orchestrated manipulative way.
Ignoring toxic persons is one of the most powerful tools in our arsenal to put abusers back in their place — but we frequently under estimate the power of such ignorance. This would be a choice that we likely will not make again, next time they come knocking. Why is that? Perhaps it is because we more normal rounded-on-the-edges type folk are not quite as devastated by such treatment whereas they are, and so we under estimate the true power of effortlessly ignoring a toxic person. It doesn’t feel right to us. But how come? Because when more healthy individuals wish to achieve some measure of accomplishment, usually, it involves an equal measure of effort or difficulty; to equate the desired and achievable effect. Ignoring others demands literally zero physical effort and yet has the MAXIMUM effect on a toxic personality disordered person. Normal people are uncomfortable with this reality, as it feels and seems insane… because it is insane!
Ignoring toxic persons is extremely devastating to them (one of many forms of “narcissistic injury”), more so than the common man or woman, because their little plots & schemes to reek havoc on the world around them more than likely took/takes a lot of effort for them to come up with and invest in: its all about show. Although we may not be affected by having others ignore us (because: surprise surprise! We aren’t going around calculating our every next move to ‘one up’ our fellow man and woman), abusers are most definitely mortally allergic to having someone ignore their amazing and perfect genie-in-a-bottle opinion. For a target, being offered the opportunity to ignore an abuser’s abusive treatment towards them is practically like winning the ultimate lottery, where the abuser did not even get a chance to play at all — as far as the abuser is concerned. Toxic persons know this, and when it is all said and done: WE more healthy loving compassionate earthy folk get the last laugh, because we simply lead better quality, more wholesome, honourable lives. Toxic persons KNOW this, and they will always resent those of us who enjoy such peace. Kinda explains a few things, though, don’t it?
It sure does, Vern!
Toxic abusers will try to hurt you for possessing something that they themselves do not possess. They could even be jealous of your ability to love others freely or trust others or be open and honest with those around you in a natural flowing manner. It could literally be ANYTHING that you have that they do not have that they would covet; it could be a pastor who secretly resents others in the church for the mere fact that they are in a natural position of humility because, say, the pastor was always given everything in life and will hence always view himself as a spoiled brat, missing out on the accomplishments which other individuals must work hard for and earn all on their own like… adults?
An abuser can resent you merely for being mature or humble or for displaying a measure of vulnerability. But in reality, it is actually a compliment in disguise that the abuser is sending to their targets. It is as if the abuser were to go out of their way and paint a big red sign that reads, “You have something that I do not have so I am going to point that out to you and everyone by attempting to hurt you with this big flashy red sign, because you have the kind of power that I can’t even ever dream of having; after all I am an infant trapped in the body of an adult and I don’t know any better!”.
Pretty cool sign, right?
It’s true, we are part of the sickness. It takes two to tango, and the narcissist is there only because we engaged in a dance with them. The fact that we don’t feel worthy is part of our sickness, and this sickness attracts the narcissist… who is also sick. It’s just a big party full of sickos dancing around with one another! The only question is: are we aware about it?
Once we become aware of these things, and we do not solely blame the toxic persons but also take into account the real fact that we must also have some kind of characteristic which attracts the narcissist and fuels the poisonous dynamics existing within the relationship—only then can we start to heal. I have found that awareness is the first step. The second step is feeling the emotional anger and desiring some sort of justice. The third step is accepting what we have been through and simply wanting out and to heal. This can be done simply by coming to realize that it is not to our benefit to continue to want to blame the narcissist for everything. I have reached a point where I am no longer interested in blaming them. I simply want to focus on creating new healthy friendships and stuff like that.
So whenever an abuser attempts to shame you or hurt your feelings or try to control some aspect of you — you can be sure that they are telling on themselves concerning what they do not like about themselves or lack in themselves but that you possess. Naturally, they are very jealous of this and therefore must control you, the target, because you are a threat to them and their weak sense of self-worth. They will do this in order to gain some kind of upper hand using abusive behaviour, in this case: ridicule. Then they will use that abusive treatment in order to manipulate or control you into a state of guilt or submissiveness. They do this for a sense of superiority or moral authority over their targets in order to artificially create a feeling of righteousness, but a false righteousness due to the fact that this “righteousness” depends entirely upon the expense of another. Regardless, this will then feed their ill-founded pride or sense of self-worth, when in fact they are not facing their own reality concerning their own personal individual situation, or luck. They deny or do their best to avoid facing their true emotions or feelings and thoughts concerning their true state of reality, whether it be biological form, intelligence quotient, social class, material wealth, popularity, or anything usually concerning more shallow aspects of life, but can also extend to others’ ability to love and trust — they see this as a sign of weakness, you see; worthy of being exploited or abused, rather.
Beautiful unique little creatures, aren’t they?
Because they are afraid to look truthfully within themselves, and because this reality irritates them: they do not have a good perception of themselves — it is for this reason that they must make others feel bad. Usually because those other targets in fact do possess the kind of power or skill or asset that they wish they could possess but in fact do not possess. What’s even better is that they believe in the delusion that they are deserving of these good qualities which others possess. This is why we classify these abusers as having personality disorders. Because ‘while the light is off they claim that it is on’. Their thinking is literally insane; twisted; backwards. They have trained their brains to think in this faulty manner in order to survive and maintain a delusional perception of themselves which is accepting; delusional yes, but accepting nonetheless.
If you think that this logical thinking is faulty and insane… that is because thinking in this way is insane. No normal man or woman would naturally think of these things. However, once experienced enough in their little games and the veil of their faulty “reasoning” falls and they are exposed for what they are: Giant Spaghetti Monsters (mostly), it then becomes quite effortless to beat them at their own games, because… what natural healthy loving adult cannot out-smart a five-year-old, really?
This truly is one of the biggest secrets concerning these nasty ass little vindictive vampires. Just think about what you would not normally think about and, chances are, that’s basically what’s going on. Its crazy! But if you can visualize inserting a five-year-old into the body of an adult, whenever that “adult” abuser speaks to you with their nasty little manipulative words and disturbing vocal tones, you’ll know exactly what to look for, question, disbelieve, and most importantly: IGNORE.
But why do abusers perceive themselves deep down where it counts in this lacking way? It is either due to the fact that they have chosen to be this way deliberately from the get go; for some karmic reason or another they simply possess a low-level rotten quality of spirit which cannot differentiate between quality of virtues like, say, caged-in barking dogs vs wilderness Songbirds [which is more virtuous? An abuser will choose the most obvious virtue: the one which can be used to cause the most abuse. (Songbirds, clearly.)]. So naturally they will want to spread their disease onto other illustrious peace-loving free spirits and put out that bright shining flame just like good little excessively rash firemen would do; or like cancer cells do to other healthy cells in the human body. Or the other reason for why abusers enjoy inflicting abuse onto others might be because they themselves have been shaped by other poisonous social forces in their lives, most likely due to their parents and early childhood family relations. As a result they have been taught to treat other people in that way. This is why the cover image of this blog is of a baby having a tantrum with spaghetti all over the baby’s face, because that’s where the abuse starts:
Abuse starts in the highly sensitive and vulnerable infant, which grows up to become anything but vulnerable or sensitive however remains a child nonetheless, trapped inside the body of an adult. Imagine asking an infant to behave like an adult. Who in their right mind would ever ask such a thing of a child? Confusing, right? This is what we are dealing with here, folks.
Therein lie the problematic implications of their disorder. So of course they will abuse others because: they were shaped by abuse… (2 + 2 = 4). But somewhere deep deep deep down inside of each and every single one of us beyond genetics and genetic memory is a man or a woman’s free will to choose. But they have already made their choice. And they will continue to make the same choice again and again and again like cows following one another along the cattle pathway through the field to the slaughterhouse, because that is all that they have ever known or chosen.
They feel a profoundly deep sense of shame on account of their own experience from being abused by others who allegedly “value” them that they must HIDE at all costs this terrorizing agonizing shame (which includes those around them) — lest they risk allowing themselves to be or to be seen as vulnerable like the children that they are but deny to all, hence (in their mind) inviting more abuse into their lives. Because that is what they would do. Because: that is what others did/do to them. Instead of fighting abuse with love, abusers fight love with abuse.
( 2 + 2 = 4 )
They want you to be a scapegoat for THEIR evils and hate and anger issues concerning their own obsession with the illusion of perfectionism. They are fakers, and they know it. Because of this they must have it so that everyone around them is also a faker or else if those surrounding them were not “like them”… what would that mean? It would mean that they are the one who is problematic and plagued by a sick personality disorder. That’s the reason why they accuse you first of being the sole problem, when in fact you are not the sole problem. They initiate and feed the flames of arguments because they thrive off of conflict, as they realize that they are the one causing the conflict so by drawing in the target they drain the target’s energy from them while acting a sadass five year old role. They leave behind a trail of broken spirits and shattered hearts of glass all over the fucking place. But because they are so obsessed with their own false projection of perfectionism they must not allow for one iota of a single moment to be perceived of as anything less than “perfect” in the eyes of all those who are watching. This of course says nothing about their behaviour behind closed doors.
They want you to feel guilty; that you are ‘wrong’; that you are ‘bad’; that you have a ‘mental problem’, even when there is hardly much wrong with you, if at all — they take great satisfaction in this. It has been said that we can judge the character of a man or a woman by the manner in which they choose to treat animals, but with an abuser people actually become less important than animals, and animals become less important than objects… perhaps worthy of making a profit, but that’s about it.
For example, one fine sunny day while in church an abuser might consider you to be ‘The Best’ because you are willingly participating within the confines of their preferred conditional ‘love’ circus, but the moment that you choose that religion is not for you, you are suddenly considered to have some miraculous form of a ‘mental disease’ bestowed upon you by the grace of their choice of a god. Another allegory I have managed to come up with in order to properly convey the nature of these kinds of abusers is the term Giant Babies (aka: Giant Spaghetti Monsters); a vivid term which also recalls the pleasant alien creature in the Hollywood film, Aliens (1979). A truly insidiously terrorizing creature, really:
I know… its gross. The measure of the likes of an abuser’s joy or reality depends entirely upon the self-doubt and suffering of others; you cannot simply be your own free man or woman — especially when you are NOT a public servant — without the conditional attachments of exterior praise or punishment that abusers have already decided for you way in advance in spite of ethical concerns which not only apply locally but also globally. Hey, we can’t steer the Titanic away from a deadly iceberg (or submarine) using a pair of butterfly wings overnight now, can we? You must conform or be forced to conform to a very limited black and white paradigm. Of course force-fitting anyone who stands out in any way into such a polarity of thought is a sure tell as to the not-so-sophisticated breadth of an abuser’s brain power (in this case, a computing power of 2, but no more; compared to, say, a computing power of 100 or 100, 000). Treating others in this quite limiting manner is like a narcotic drug for the abuser. Its simple (minded) and effective. They have no other means (no pun intended) to feel ‘whole’ or ‘worthy’ than to subject others into feelings of inferiority, rather than simply mind their own goddamn business, keep to themselves, and generate their own self-worth, because in reality they have none or very little at best, and they know it.
Abusers will trick their targets into uneasy situations by either showing up unannounced or in disguise, to initiate unjustified violence upon their targets, spy on them, read their private documents or emails, report their freedom of expression on social media in order to premeditatedly sabotage that freedom of expression by simply assuming the worst in their target’s use of words like, say, ‘faggot‘, when in reality there are many other allegorical applications to this rather fascinating word (remember: abusers project onto others, so we can almost bet our bottom dollar that they will usually tend to assume the worst in any given situation; now isn’t that great?); they will violate the boundary of privacy upon which the honour between healthy individuals depends, and by extension, healthy communities. They will project and call their targets nasty dirty little rotten names, especially behind their targets’ backs, and label those targets in order to force-fit them into the abuser’s very narrow-minded minuscule pathetic little box of perception or judgement, which has little to no scope beyond the abuser’s immediate vicinity… or am I really just projecting again? Dammit! Abusers hate it when we ask that question.
They will punish you for reaching out for help or even for having fallen in love with them, then they will lie about the fact that they know that you are reaching out for help or that you are in love with them and claim instead that you are acting violent and physically abusive and intimidating towards them with as peaceful of a thing as expressing yourself using… texts (words on a computer screen)! Then pretend like nothing is wrong and that everything is as right as rain in the world, because, hey… abusers are infallible, especially in their own eyes.
While being targeted by an abuser’s brilliant super mighty immaculate brilliant tort, the most important thing for that amazing abuser’s wellbeing is that you suffer and that you continually remain disproportionately treated; if you step out of line one or two steps, they will ensure that you are punished for having stepped out of line ten or twenty steps (and they are great at acting like sad little helpless victims too, especially if they are gender-favoured by the iron first of the system in which they reign). They will lie and accuse you of being something that you are not, or accuse you of doing or saying something that you did not do or say, and even if you have the right to act differently or defensively due to an unreasonable and unfair treatment towards you, the target, they will not bother to even begin to consider your circumstances or make any real measure of effort to understand your point of view. Instead, they will cram you into a narrow little bird cage in order to claim their own (false) sense of alleged ‘security’ and (false) sense of ‘self-esteem’ or ‘pride’. Heck, they don’t even want you driving on the same public road as they do! They are totally insane, and can barely manage to hold the sensitivity of a piece of shit.
Okay, I guess I am projecting a bit here. But… as their target, it is paramount for the abuser that you perceive yourself as somehow ‘wrong’ because this determines their own perception of being ‘right’; they cannot be convinced of their own perception independent from proving you wrong first. Sounds crazy, right? Well, that’s because it is crazy. It matters more to them that they go out of their way to prove that others are wrong rather than simply act independently on their own convictions or observations. They feed off of this like mosquitos feed off of blood: without taking away from an exterior source of energy they simply cannot survive. The fact that they behave in this way is another sure tell that, as their target, you are far more important to them than they are to themselves. This is rather quite sad and pathetic indeed. Am I still projecting, or just expressing what I see? I wonder sometimes.
Should they simply allow you to be, to exist freely, to speak your own original mind, it would be too much for them to bear because you would be the very embodiment of everything that they are not (intelligence, mostly). They simply cannot handle this kind of a living breathing walking reminder, as it causes much too much cognitive dissonance and because they are so concerned with exterior sources of energy they define themselves by everything that others do or have — not by what they choose for themselves. This is a denial mechanism for a brain of lower IQ because deep down inside the abuser’s subconscious mind is in some way aware of the lower quality of their truly horrible roles in society. The true nature of their souls hearts and minds is simply too much for the average human being to process or face up to after living an entire life of denial and mediocre thought. To face this quality of their own stunted growth of character or spirit would be too great a stress to their parameters of what they consider to be reality (‘La La Land’), at the detriment of that pretend reality as well as themselves; like a person who invests all of their beliefs resources money interest and power into the delusional foundations of a house of cards which inevitably crumbles down at once, and themselves along with it. Castles made of sand fall into the sea, eventually.
Its sad. But can we blame these Giant Babies for being the giant babies that they are, really? If we are lucky, the abuser will go out of their way to identify with us and accuse us of being the abuser or even better: accuse us of identifying them as the abuser, first!
There’s nothing quite like being first.
They will gang up on anyone who or anything that stands out of the status quo while seeking validation from those who share their narrow-minded disease. Like asking a bunch of redteam players to compliment one another on how gloriously blue and green and purple and pink each one of them is, when in reality red cannot be qualified in any real way as such. This delusional manner of flattery can only temporarily satisfy shallow needs for short-term gains. They will require more and more and more of this fictitious praise from their own choir such as appears to be necessary for the likes of Presidents and Kings or Queens or Dignitaries who receive ‘praise’ from their very own subjects, instead of accepting their true mortal fallible monster nature; then build upon this true yet unpleasant quality towards self-improvement for the sake of oneself AND others. Sorta like starting a garden from a pile full of fertile compost.
Hasn’t that ever occurred to you, man… Sir?
For more super fun reading on this disturbing and totally not boring topic, visit the following link:
“They took a trusting open heart and stomped on it. Then stomped on it again. Disgusting.”
“My older sister is very much like that. It’s all about control with her. She likes to keep animals and people both in boxes and make them stay exactly where they are and how they are. In the case of people, the boxes are metaphorical, she has almost a phobia about people changing as they get older. With animals, however, she will keep them in pet carriers and boxes until they go insane. I called animal control on her twice when we were living in the same city. She tortures plants to death by keeping them in containers juuust too small for them to get enough nutrients. Then she gets angry at the plants for turning yellow and dying.”
“Well said Curtis, so accurate!”
“You nailed it… I have come to believe many are insanely scarred too, and so terrified and lacking in confidence themselves that all the crap they do is a futile attempt to control the universe and be safe…”
“Wow! It’s like you were a fly on the wall of my previous relationship.”
“They want pity, but show no regard for your pain.”
“This is true – the way they are – the definition of misery loves company, but they are dishonest about it. I do believe they get some kind of relief from spewing their poison on those who are unlucky enough to care about them. They fool us because we can sense their pain, which is confusing when they are, at that same time, purposely causing us pain. This is the sympathy I can still muster for them, but it is wasted. Too dangerous to try to help them because once you know what they are about, they will ratchet up their attacks on you. Such a paradox. Distance is your friend…”
“Society is making more and more people who don’t have healthy emotional cycles in place. People with personality disorders aren’t bad people they are just stuck in behaviour loops that make them behave badly. Think of them like computers with corrupted files. We all have traits and some have them to the point where they become disorders. We have neuroplasticity so we can change these things, change our behaviours by changing the reaction loops and wiring.”
“Hate and abuse are natural reactions to fear and vulnerability… if you’re a shitty human.”
Have a good one folks!